TOO HORNY!

is the title of an article in the Ugandan Paper/tabloid "The Red Pepper". I thought it was to funny not to share with you all.. and so you get a glimpse at the quality of ugandan news.

"Too Horny" 'Give Artificial Whoppers to Our Girls in Schools' By Nathan Ngobi in Busia

The amazing sleaze from Busia is that the Women's Council has asked the Government to provide 'manmade whoppers' to all school going girls so that they can use them to quench their sex urge. The women said the girls can use the dildos during different times when their sex appetite rises up to avoid HIV and escaping from schools with men for sex during school time. This was revealed by Buteba Sub-county women council boss, only identified as Margaret.
"We want Government to provide our sex active girls with those 'things' so as to avoid the deadly HIV", Margaret told a gathering during a workshop on HIV/AIDS among young girls organized by the national Womens Council at Busia Community Hall recently. She said that if the Government supplied dildos to girls in schools, this would reduce the chances of girls going out with men and catching HIV. She said the system would consider the age and the size of the breasts before giving the girls the soft whopper.
She added that during their days, parents used to give them egg plants to use at school whenever the sex urge arose. "One could go to the birthroom and plave the egg plant in her Kandahar and the sex urge would go away," she said adding that: "but the eggplants used to rot and since this is a modern world, the Government would give our girls manmade soft whoppers depending on the size of the children." Marvelous, this is! Maggie had earlier asked a health worker, Wanyama, if there were some scientific drugs that would be used by human beings to stop or reduce sex appetite so they could give them to school going girls. According to Maggie, the dildoes would assist girls not to run up and down looking for horny men to shaft them. She pointed out that condoms and abstinenve are not enough for these kids.
The workshop was officially opened by Busia LC5 boss Patrick Wedakule, who said that it would be expensive for the Government to manufacture artificial whoppers for all sizes of girls in schools.

Yes... i kid you not. There is the article, word for word. Granted, the Red Pepper is a notoriously trashy newspaper/magazine, akin to the tabloids with composite pictures of woman gives birth to batboy, but still. I think the article raises a lot of interesting questions, esp. after all the family planning work i was doing, and talking with a friend who does similar things with an NGO in kampala.

certainly, "Margaret" has a radical idea. the questions you have to askb though, are many. Will giving dildos to school age girls really satisfy/supress their sex urges? or will it encourage them, and give the many who are at this point embarrased by these urges, the will or the desire to act on them? Using Dildos as a means of preventing the spread of HIV is an interesting proposition. As to the eggplant claim, i havent gotten much response from ugandans other than the all knowning "mmm" with head and chin lift, or laughter. I am also curious what this would been for the percieved "virginity" of these girls, though i am not certain how important that is in ugandan culture.. there are a great many single mothers in Bujagali alone, how typical a village this is, with regard to the transitory nature of many of the workers and visitors (raft guides) i am not sure. I do know from personal experiance, that, 9 times out of ten, raucous laughter occured anytime i removed the soft power dildo from its bag, and that with school children especially, there was avid fascination, opposed to the older crowd, where fascination combined with disgust. I remember one particular session held outside an elementary school where all the kids crowded around during their recess. The kids were fascinated, not only by the dildo, but by the posters and the information on the human reproductive systems. Surely it is better to give these kids a proper sexual education, something sorely lacking in ugandan school itineraries, than to just hand the girls dildos. Are they going to hand lotion or lube to the male students to encourage them to masturbate, instead of having intercourse as well? Perhaps the problem with girls running off for sex lies not only with the girls themselves, but also with the school system, where oftentimes, authority is lax. Students are often milling around the school yards, and teachers are seldom found in the classrooms, but instead, smoking or eating in the teachers lounge. This is beacuse oftentimes, the Government lacks themoney to pay the teachers salaries, so why should they do anywork? They show up, they leave, but not much seems to go on inbetween. Perhaps this system needs revamping before the manufacture of "manmade soft whoppers" is to take place.

on the other hand, you have to credit margaret to an innovate approach to tackling a larger problem, that of HIV/AIDS. however, i still stand by the idea that education, not masturbation, will do a better job of preventing the spread of the disease.